Robert Bruce files an unusually short,
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What if I want your stories, but don't want more email in my inbox?

No problem, here's a couple other places you can get my stuff ...

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How do I contact you?

I am likely the worst correspondent in the history of the Internet, but if you want to go it anyway …

robert@robertbruce.com

P.O. Box 331
Dundee, Ore.
97115






Are your stories fact or fiction?

Nothing I write is true of anyone, dead or alive.

Everything I write is true of everyone, dead and alive.






What motivates you to write?

My stomach and my grave.






Where can I buy your books, bumper stickers, t-shirts, and mugs?

I don't make books, bumper stickers, t-shirts, or mugs.






If you don't sell anything or run ads, how do you make a living writing this stuff?

I don't make a living writing this stuff. Like you, I work a day job.

However, if you like these little stories, you can express that appreciation by becoming a patron, for any monthly amount that works for you.






Aren't literary readings boring, navel-gazing, pseudo-intellectual con games?

Yes.

But, for $7000 + expenses, I'll fly in and give you one that plainly isn't.

And yes, that $7000 price tag is intended to keep me at home -- and in my bathrobe -- at all times.






What are your hobbies?

I'm an expert with a 12 gauge Remington 870 Wingmaster shotgun, in close quarters.






What's your drink?

Any grape from The Four Graces.

No, I was not paid to write that. Though I should've been.






Why don't you host comments, reply to tweets, emails, or phone calls? Are you some kind of arrogant prick?

Perhaps.

But, like you, I work a job, have a dog, two cats, two chickens, and watch a lot of television.

I need the few moments left at the end of the day to write these little stories, cut my toenails, drink a beer, and get to the dentist.











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