by Robert Bruce
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What's going on here?
I file an unusually short story to the Internet daily, from the rain and sun of Oregon's wine country.
If you're into Mamet, Chandler, or Bukowski, this stuff might work for you.
Good luck ...
What if I'd like to try out your stories, but don't want more email in my inbox?
No problem, here's a couple other places you can get my stuff ...
How do I contact you?
I am likely the worst correspondent in the history of the Internet, but if you want to go it anyway ...
P.O. Box 331
Are your stories fact or fiction?
Nothing I write is true of anyone, dead or alive.
Everything I write is true of everyone, dead and alive.
What motivates you to write?
My stomach and my grave.
Where can I buy your books, bumper stickers, t-shirts, and mugs?
I don't make books, bumper stickers, t-shirts, or mugs.
If you'd like to help keep your writer in bourbon and ink, you can become a patron right here.
Aren't literary readings boring, navel-gazing, pseudo-intellectual con games?
But, for $7000 + expenses, I'll fly in and give you one that plainly isn't.
Yes, that $7000 price tag is intended to keep me at home -- and in my bathrobe -- at all times.
What are your hobbies?
I'm an expert with a 12 gauge Remington 870 Wingmaster shotgun, in close quarters.
What's your drink?
Any grape from The Four Graces.
No, I was not paid to write that. Though I should've been.
Why don't you host comments, reply to tweets, emails, or phone calls? Are you some kind of arrogant prick?
But, like you, I work a day job, have a dog, two chickens, and listen to a lot of radio.
I need the few moments left at the end of the day to write these little stories, cut my toenails, drink a beer, and get to the dentist.
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